FRIENDSHIPS

A few days ago, I was having a chat with an old friend that got me thinking about my view on friendships. I have personally not been one to have a lot of friends; I always only had a handful of friends per time at different stages in my life with some being part of my transition into a new life stage.
Because of my personality and strong tendency to be extra invested in everything including people ; I realized early enough that I could only dispense that level of energy to a few people at a time as whilst I love to experience people’s joys, I also feel their pain as though it were mine.
There was a time in the distant past when I used to feel hurt if people didn’t reciprocate the same energy I gave; but then quickly realized it as a sense of entitlement I needed to unlearn. It was important for me to get to a place where I was focused on my own actions and not the reaction and that has been so freeing. I also came to a level of self understanding that my actions towards the people I love was more for me than it was for them as there is a sense of joy that I get from making them happy.
“You can’t possess people, you can only experience them”
— Nipsey Hustle
I have also learnt to be okay with friendship gaps and not be salty about it. People grow apart and that is okay as we all are evolving and sometimes in different directions. I think it is however important to keep being kind and be there for each other when needed as much as possible.
I am filled with gratitude for the friends I have and that I have had in the past; some of whom I am rooting for from a distance and others that have become an integral part of my journey.
“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.”
— Marcel Proust
So, here’s to beautiful friendships and the people who make our souls blossom.
Wishing you a beautiful week
Love,
Nifemi
Mogbekeloluwa Koye-Ladele
I too used to be very salty about friendship gaps. I would get somewhat upset when someone hadn’t reached out in a while and then contacted me because they needed something.
As I’ve grown older and taken a few of those gaps myself, I’ve since realized they’re normal. People are dealing with all sorts and sometimes they just want to hunker down and make sense of things by themselves before they reach out for help.
Grateful for all my friends too!