YOU DON’T HAVE TO….. YOU GET TO

Welcome to September!

I am not being funny when I say I really believe September is the best month in the year 😊. Not only because it is my birth month but also because I don’t know anyone born in September that is not dope. It is also the month that signals the winding down of the year as it is the beginning of the ’ember’ months. In exactly 2 weeks, it would be my 31st birthday and like every other birthday, I am excited.

Since the last time I wrote, a lot has been going on in my world and I just thought to share a few random thoughts.

You know how they say “everything pales in comparison to death” … there are no truer words. A few weeks ago whilst I was in my feelings and quite upset about an incident , I got a message about the death of one of my colleagues at J&J. Immediately I opened that message, every other emotion I was feeling before the message came in vanished; everything else became less significant and for a while I didn’t remember what I was upset about.

I spent time thinking about how a lot of things that I am able to worry about are no longer in his reality, things like work, dreams, desires and even expectations. I thought about how easy it is for us to assume we will always have time to do the things we love and how sometimes we forget that everyday is a gift.

You know what never stops amusing me about death? It is how time never stops and life just goes on.

These days, when I find myself upset about a certain situation or experience, I make a conscious effort to remind myself that being able to be in that situation no matter how difficult it is, is a gift. One of the hacks that I have learnt which I thought to share is replacing ‘I have to’ with ‘I get to’. A few practical examples:

• Instead of saying I have to exercise, try saying I get to exercise
• Instead of thinking I have to work, try saying I get to work
• Instead of saying I have to visit my parents, try saying I get to visit my parents …..etc

As simple as this may sound, I can tell you for free that this can help improve your mood in doing things you may have found harder to do. It takes your mind off the difficulty of the task and reminds you that being able to experience it is a gift. Just this morning, I wanted to exercise for a few minutes but didn’t feel up to it; I spent a few minutes thinking to myself that I don’t have to workout but that I get to workout and it was the pick me up I needed.

You are here, you are breathing and that is a gift. Never forget!

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In other news, I finally read The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo! This is one of those books I have always had on my list of books to read as I have heard so much about it. So many successful people have spoken about it as one of the books that influenced them greatly. From Oprah to Pharrell, Bill Clinton, Will Smith amongst several others. Pharrell even said in this clip from an interview with Oprah that it was the book that changed his life.

The Alchemist is a simple novel that tells the story of a young Shepherd on a mysterious quest for his personal legend in a faraway land. The adventure is a testament to how far our dreams can take us, if we have the courage to follow them into the unknown, but also that our deepest desires are met from within. Whilst I will not refer to it as that one transformational book for me, it was a good read and I had a great time discussing it with my book club members. I highly recommend and it is one of those books I plan to read over and over again.

Wishing you a beautiful September.

Until next time, stay grateful and don’t lose your smile!

Love,

Nifemi