The never ending debate – to leave or to stay
Over and over, I have been part of conversations with friends, peers and family on the topic of whether to stay in Nigeria or leave for ‘greener pastures’ abroad. This is a raging topic that has continued to generate passionate interests for obvious reasons. For most people, the hope for their desired Nigeria seems to be dwindling and the kind of radical revolution needed to tilt the country in the right direction doesn’t appear in the offing.
According to a report released by The Pew Research Centre on August 15, 2018, 74% of Nigerians would relocate to another country if given the chance. This means out of every 10 Nigerian, at least 7 will jump at an opportunity to ‘relocate’. The research lists unemployment, low paying jobs, political instability, and conflict as some of the reasons people want to leave. Also, according to migrant population data from the United Nations, More than half (51%) of sub-Saharan African migrants living in the U.S. as of 2017 were born in just four countries: Nigeria, Ethiopia, Ghana and Kenya, with Nigeria expectedly leading the pack . Everyday you hear of various means people are exploring with some endangering their lives in the process just to ‘japa’
Personally, there have been times when I wished I could just carry my ‘load’ and escape from Nigeria and other times when I have wondered how I will survive living outside Nigeria. Growing up and till date, I have always had a very close relationship with my family both immediate and extended. I am one of those people who grew up travelling to the village (Olode) for festive seasons, special church events (Ikore, Bazaar, etc) and we always had one family member or the other living with us. After my grandma passed, the party moved to my Parents’ house and our home became a mini-community in the truest sense of it. I am happiest when I am around my family members and I sometimes wonder if I could ever give that up. I wonder what it will be like living in a world where Ibadan is not a car ride away with ‘amala’ and ‘fresh ewedu’ waiting for me. Don’t even get me started on the owambes, party jollof and live band; but then getting stuck in a 4 hour traffic afterwards can fling the excitement out in seconds.
People sometimes argue that you can be immune to some of the problems in Nigeria if you have enough money; They say you can live close to your work, get a driver, get an inverter etc. and live the ‘abroad life’ in Nigeria. That may be true in some way but when I think about it critically, we are all still suffering from some form of ‘collective poverty’. Even when you have the fanciest cars, you will still drive on terrible roads; everyone is at risk of a bridge collapsing at any time due to lack of maintenance. What about healthcare – you can only just pray not to have a critical emergency and even when you do, you better have enough money to be flown abroad.
During our vacation this year staying with some friends, I got a glimpse of what it meant to live in countries where the systems work. I mean, you can literally plan your day to the last minute. The transportation system was functional, trains well scheduled, there is a neighborhood grocery store that has everything you need for a nice homemade meal with premium placed on quality. On the flip side, I also saw that it could be very lonely, with friends and family being so far away and a palpable struggle to continually try to fit in to the culture and life.
Overall, I know people thriving in Nigeria against all the odds and similarly know people thriving ‘abroad’ as well. I believe these dynamics are largely based on individuals and opportunities, not just location, as there are struggles on both ends of the spectrum. That said, I believe everyone deserves the experience of living in saner climes at some point in one’s lifetime. As of today, I am somewhere in the middle of the divide.
Are you team stay or leave and why?
Anthony
At the moment, I live abroad. 1 year and 5 months precisely. And I only left Naija after university. So I’ll be sharing my experience from a JJC level in the abroad and from a veteran level while living in Naija.
I’ll start with the issue of loneliness. You are right. You’ll miss home. You’ll feel it. You’ll miss friends and family. Especially, if you move as a single like me and you live alone. You’ll notice how the cultures can be contrasting and you’ll miss what you’re used to. Let’s not even talk about the food first.
But on the bright side, you’re in a system that works and protects you in a way if you’re legit. You’re not worried about minor sicknesses because health insurance covers it and you can receive quality treatment at anytime, even when you’re broke. God knows my parents and my cousin would still be alive if they were based in the abroad. Education is top notch. You have better security. You’re not worried that police or SARS may harrass you at anytime. Emergency service? Call and they are around within minutes. You already talked about the transport system, so I’ll just skip that.
But like they said, rome wasn’t built in a day. These nations have also gone through dark times in the past. While some of their citizens stayed and fought for what they believed, many also relocated.
One thing I can say for sure is, if you are relocating, please relocate with a purpose. And also with all the right papers. Because, it can be really difficult if you don’t have both.
But then, I have spoken from a JJC level and I am looking forward to learning from other comments.
Nifemi Odeyinde
Thanks so much Anthony for your comment, very enlightening. I totally agree with you on leaving with the right papers and having a purpose. I also look forward to reading other views. Thanks for always stopping by đ
Anthony
Thank you, Nifemi. I find your articles really interesting.
Nifemi Odeyinde
Thanks Anthony . Comments like this inspire me to write more đ
Anonymous
Testing if this will work before I write a long epistleđđ
Elizabeth Shobo
As for me, I have lived all my life in Nigeria and I’ve only heard about how everything works abroad through close friends who live there and are willing to actually speak the truth about what life is like over there. Life is easy if you go through the right means but home is better if you have to lay low to avoid deportation or struggle to get papers so you can stay . Now the question is with what I’ve heard about living abroad do I want to relocate? Yes! Permanently and take every of my family members one by one(that way we wont miss ourselves much). A little sanity in one’s life isn’t a bad idea at all and when I think about giving the best to my kids, Nigeria is not really an option.
Truth be told, to actually live in Nigeria is expensive if you’d want the best life for yourself. From education, to healthcare, food, shelter and clothing to get the best you need money. Now, do we really have a country where the economy favours the citizens or a country where the major systems are working thereby easing some burdens placed on citizens? No! We fend for ourselves in this country and it is so disheartening.
Back in My university days, I would always say I can’t imagine myself sending My kids to the same school because I can’t imagine what the school would be like in the next 20years. As it is now, I can’t even send them to any university in Nigeria not even a private university because rather than spend such amount would rather send them to a place where they have better opportunities.
My conclusion is, if you have the opportunity to relocate out of this country for a better plan please do and if it’s Nigeria that works best with your plans please stay to also avoid regrets.
Nifemi Odeyinde
Babe, thanks for your comment. I totally agree with your view on how expensive it is to live the âbestâ life in Nigeria. However, I also think it is near impossible leaving with all our loved ones who will still face the Naija hardship. If only the country was moving towards the right direction in terms of potential! These countries also started from somewhere . Itâs just a sad situation overall
Edeme
Awesome, my test comment worked so here is my comment. I live in âthe abroadâ at the moment though on an assignment and overall I love it here. Now unlike you, in Nigeria, I have a small family who I donât socialize with a lot. My folks live faraway from Lagos – in Warri , I have 2 brothers, one lives in Warri and the other in Lagos, hence my family socialization is limited. Interestingly, I can say I enjoy my family better here as it is a holiday destination for them. Last Christmas for the first time I had my entire family in my house. That never happened while in Lagos. Also, here in Dubai where I live, the few Nigerians like to identify with each other hence we will typically plan one connect or the other for no reason. I had a thanksgiving party 2 weeks ago, my friends had BBQ for colleagues yesterday and invited us over, my next door neighbors invited us over just because to have wine and listen to good music, for Christmas Day I literately have 2 friends fighting over who gets Christmas Day for a partyđđ not resolved yet so I may have to go for both! So for me, even my social life is better save for the owambe wedding parties and the random knock at your door everyday. Here, most meet ups are planned. Here also, my kids have great education and exposure and I cannot be grateful enough for the convenience – access to amazing items, clothing, furniture etc, healthcare, zero traffic – coming from almost 3hrs from work to 20mins here. . . I could go on. That said, for me personally, the main downside is the need to do more than your best at work to continue to justify your stay. In Dubai precisely, most people are so stressed at work trying to do more than enough and I think this is typical in other countries like the UK and the US, people seem to work too much hence you donât have time to even enjoy the benefits that are available. I am on leave at the moment and was just saying to my husband that, I feel like I havenât been really experiencing Dubai as much as I should as I am at work/working a lot. Also, the day to day interaction at work, in church etc is not thesame as you donât âgetâ each other so it doesnât really flow . . . let me stop heređ Overall, I think the pros and cons vary from individual to individual and life stage as well. I think itâs up to each individual to do their own research, visit for as long a period as possible and come back and then put down pros and cons as with any decision and if you are religious like me, commit it to God and make the right choice for yourself . . ..
Nifemi Odeyinde
Edeme!!! Thanks so much for your response. I totally agree that life stage matters and the decision really needs to be made prayerfully. Thanks for sharing the additional insight about the work dynamics- that is a key learning for me even and I am sure for alot of other people. I think the frustration for some people who relocate comes from also not asking as much questions from people who are there before making the decision. Glad to hear you are having an amazing time in Dubai- I look forward to visiting you đ
Gbenga
First, please please post on WhatsApp status – I almost missed this one.
Nifemi – hmm! This topic. Chai! So very near and dear to my heart. Both you and Anthony, in his response, have outlined the fundamentals well so although I want to write an entire volume of books I will try (underline try) to be brief. What I would like to emphasize and maximize in your points is the loss of soul when one relocates. Youâve mentioned it but itâs the difference between hearing about the softest pounded yam with hot okra orishirishi soup versus actually kneading that poundo with your own hand, dipping it down into the soup and putting it in your mouth with the flavours dancing on every palette of your tongue before it warmly slides down your throat.
My experience is different. My family relocated when my Dad was in graduate school working on his PhD and I was only 7. We didnât have the money to travel back home to visit so for many years my recollections of Naija were those of a small child. It wasnât until I had already started to build my career that we travelled back to visit and later I was able to relocate and live at home for a couple years albeit it was the posh Ikoyi, serviced flat, drivers, maid, cook, expat lifestyle.
Based on my background many discount my view on this topic nevertheless I think my experiences add more credibility. Growing up here I understand the âabroadâ lifestyle, history, and culture quite well. Iâve also been blessed to live in China for 4 years and experience life in a country different from my âcomfortâ. Add on top of that uncountable weeks spent traveling throughout Europe, Latin America, South America, India, and other parts of Asia.
Let me first say people and people are people. Every where people have the same core. They want strong families, their children to be successful, safety, fun activities, and they love their local food. They all love their local food – after trying some I found that very confusing. Thankfully others were incredible so any day you can open my fridge and find what looks like a UN meeting of leftover meals.
Even in my pampered Ikoyi lifestyle I could not escape the traffic, the pollution, constant concern about security, etc. I know others, even close family, have it much worse. I understand the desire to relocate.
But what are we living for?
If life is really about striving to live every moment to its fullest. If it is about doing as much good as we are able. Impacting as many people as we can. Leaving a legacy. Then there is much happiness and fulfillment found in living in Nigeria.
Frankly we can live anywhere and be tremendously happy or tremendously unhappy. Research says only 10% of our happiness is determined by our surroundings.
Relocation is a trade-off as are many things in life. My preference is 100% to be in Nigeria. It is one of my first thoughts everyday that I wake up here in the abroad. I have aligned my actions to be focused on that goal. I want my face to be kissed by the bright African sun in the morning. I want to exchange eager and sincere greetings of âGood Morning! How was your night?â with random strangers. I want the work I put my effort into doing to truly be making a difference to improve someoneâs life. I want to dance with complete joy and have people around me understand and join in my happiness.
Nifemi Odeyinde
Wow Gbenga â this is so profound đ and it is so interesting to hear your view having lived abroad for so long. Some people may argue that you feel this way about Nigeria because you have enjoyed the bliss of abroad. Will you think that as valid ? Also, when you think about the pros and cons like Edeme mentioned above considering the Nigeria issues especially security and health infrastructure , would you say the pros outweigh the cons ? Would be good to get more insight. Thanks a lot for your response đ
Gbenga
There is no doubt that after living in the âabroadâ for so long and having a âsafety lineâ in case of disaster it is easier for me to prefer to live in Nigeria. I appreciate my situation is indeed âprivilegedâ. I certainly do not fault anyone for wanting to leave.
I do know the experience that children of migrants will face. Although I would like to think modern times are better than the 80s and 90s when I was growing up I suspect the children will still have a lot of challenges from peers and teachers alike. The point is the âabroadâ is not all roses. My view of China After several visits was quite different from my view after actually living there. It is easy to see the grass and greener, we need to be realistic as to which parts are greener and which are indeed quite dead.
Beyond all these points the major factor for me is an understanding of why the âabroadâ, especially the US and Canada, have developed into global leaders. The answer is simple – good political structure and the sweat of migrants. We all understand the political structure. What isnât always clear is the migrants. A crude explanation is that Just as it was migrants (slavery) that drove the economy of the US in the past, it continues to be migrants that do a TON of the work that drives the modern economy. The difference is of course now the migrants are practically begging to come and also they work across all levels of the economy. The US takes the hardest working and brightest people from around the world and concentrates them here. This is not a secret, itâs the expressed mission of the immigration program.
My point about why we should stay is therefore to emphasize that Nigeria will only grow if our best talent stays and grows the country. If we really want to do the best for our extended families then we must seek to be a big part of the Nigerian solution instead of an minuet part of making the âabroadâ even better.
Again I understand my position requires a sacrifice therefore it must be a personal decision. People will lose lives, suffer more struggles, etc by staying. I have had my own sacrifices by choosing to move home.
Please realize that all these places we want to run to were once much much worse than present day Nigeria across healthcare, security, and other factors. A quick study of the conditions in the US, Canada, and Europe in the first part of the 20th century will confirm this. It was because people chose to stay and build these countries that we now have the opportunity to chose to escape. I would like to create a Nigeria wherein my children and grandchildren, and the children and grandchildren of my cousins who donât have the ability to escape, donât have to have that choice.
Anthony
Thank you, Gbenga, for sharing. I have just downloaded many years of experience from reading through your comments.
On the part of losing our best brains, I cannot but say that is really true. From my graduating set alone, many are already outside the country. Either working in the best tech companies abroad or doing their MSc.s or Ph.Ds. But one question I keep asking myself is; Would they have fared better, if they had stayed in the country? Probably, some would still be looking for jobs, or working underpaid jobs. Probably, they would have no sane place to call home or afford rent. And probably, their geniuses would be on the brink of elimination, just for survival.
While I agree that the best decision in the future may be to come back home, I think the flight was also needed. Afterall, we cannot pour from an empty cup.
Personally, I would like to come back home in the future and offer the best I can, knowing “full well” that that best, will be appreciated.
Gbenga
Anthony- in the vast majority of cases they will personally fare better by being abroad. I am certain of this. The difficulty is to think about the collective and not the individual.
Mandela In SA, Gandhi in India, MLK in the US, Lech Walesa in Poland, and other great leaders would all have fared better if they were to have focused only on their own personal needs and that of their immediate families. They all sacrificed for the collective good. A common response is comparing ourselves to them isnât realistic because they were the infinitesimal minority who rose to fame. That is correct which is why it isnât them I am comparing us to. Itâs the hundreds of thousands and millions who we cannot name but who nevertheless worked hard and were the bricks that built the foundation and the house where the legacy lives. None of them will ever be famous but their children and grandchildren have much to be proud of.
I am highly supportive of people getting an education abroad and/or working for 3-5 years abroad. This provides the understanding needed, the picture in our minds of where we want to take Nigeria. The hard choice is to return. Again, each person must make the personal decision. I only urge for us to think beyond today when we make it.
Anthony
Thanks so much, Gbenga. This was really enlightening. I look forward to learning more from your vast wealth of experience.
Temitope Akinpelu
This topic is an interesting one. I’m pro relocating the legal way. My most important reason is my kid, he deserves the best, good school, constant light, a world where things work, bad roads are not regular. A life where the benefits you earn is equal to the work you put in.
I would be lying if I said my reasons are mainly for my child/ren, the truth is I also want an opportunity to start over. Go to school, change careers. I’m 27, making fair money but in a career that I’m not crazy about…imagine how difficult it will be to start over considering the responsibilities here.
Going to a new place is opening up a world of opportunities, you can be who you want and where you want.
And concerning family…I’m an ibadan babe like you and my parents and siblings are close by but you know what, all of us in my house are planning to japa. My parents may not be able to totally do it because of there business but we will be fine.
All in all, I believe all is not totally lost for Nigeria but I’m not sure that things will change in this generation (or at least while I’m young enough to enjoy it)
Nifemi Odeyinde
Topsy, Thanks for your comment. I totally agree that if relocating, it has to be the legal way. Starting over is not easy and I can imagine doing it illegally would be extra tough. I absolutely share your sentiments about providing better opportunities for the children. All in all, it is a serious decision to make and I hope we all get the best opportunities we are seeking. Cheers darling
MoB
Interesting post. I just had to comment. Long post alert (I’m on vacation so permit me)!
I agree with you. People are thriving abroad, and people are thriving in Nigeria. The decision to move overseas should be personal. While moving abroad has several advantages, living abroad is not easy. In my opinion, it is not for everyone. The older you are, the more difficult it is to thrive overseas.
Recently, my wife and I moved out of Nigeria. Loneliness is a factor everyone must consider. That said, there are Nigerians in every part of the world. Iâm not sure thereâs a state in the US or province in Canada without a Redeemed Church. So, youâll make new friends and adjust. That said, you will be far away from your childhood friends and family members and that can take a toll on you depending on your personality. Nigerian folks like posting photos and videos of them living their best lives on Instagram. Be prepared to feel like youâre missing out, especially if youâre a party person.
Also, there is the problem of having to retrain yourself to fit into the new society. I have friends who moved to Canada and had to take up lower-paying jobs (lower than what they were earning in Nigeria). The Nigerian Educational system is not respected globally. Itâs hard to convince people reviewing resumes that you know your sh*t if your last degree was from âOlabulonleâ Institute of Technology. Thriving abroad might require that you switch careers or take up a lower-paying (or junior role) for a while. You might even have to go back to school.
Finally, thereâs the problem of racism. Even though most institutions are doing all they can to erase racism from the face of the earth, the beast remains alive and kicking. Not everyone will accept you outside 9ja. Even though Lagos exposes you to popular culture, living abroad is very different. You might need to relearn many things that your parents taught you.
So, am I saying people shouldnât move abroad? Hell no! Iâve lived âabroadâ for 16 months, and it has been a fantastic experience. Better than I could have ever imagined. Youâve said it already, but Iâll just repeat it. Everything works! Iâm a sucker for a predictable life. I like the fact that I can plan my day to the minute. I also like the fact that people do actual work here. You need to add value to get paid, so itâs hard to find people sleeping on the job here. I like the fact that I can jog at any time of the day. I like the fact that I can head to another city by 10 pm in the night without fear of getting robbed on the highway. I like the fact I donât have to wake up to my neighborâs generator (thatâs the best part for me). I like the fact that my kids get to grow up in a squeaky clean environment. Also, I like the fact that if I merit something, I get it! I donât have to wait for my turn.
Letâs talk about education. The Nigerian education system has a lot to learn. These folks are centuries ahead of us. The tertiary learning experience here, compared to Nigeria, is like day versus night. Also, there are more opportunities for the average graduate. The possibilities are endless. Nigeriaâs economy is tiny (really tiny), and it only allows a few people to earn well. Here, there are a gazillion things you can do to make money. Everyone is eating, and everyone is comfortable. If youâre hardworking and you have the soft skills to go with it (like many Nigerian folks I know), the sky is your starting point.
If youâre having the internal âleave or stayâ debate, I suggest you taste both sides and decide what works for youâŠespecially if youâre a graduate, and you have several years of experience. However, if youâre still in school and youâre considering doing your MSc outside 9ja (or your 1st degree) Donât waste time thinking. Jump!
Nifemi Odeyinde
Woooooow – thank you so much MoB for stopping by and for sharing your experience in depth. Your comment is very insightful to read and I am sure will be helpful to a lot of people having this internal debate. I totally agree with all the points you made and like you said, the decision has to be personal depending on individual situation. I am a strong advocate of people getting all the right information and perspective before making a decision and insights like yours and others shared on this post are so valuable.
Happy New Year to you and the family đ !